My Closet Wasn’t Really the Problem
I grabbed a pile of clothes and headed into the dressing room, excited to find just the right outfit for family photos. We were way overdue for a snazzy Christmas card.
I grabbed my typical size. Never mind that I'd lost a significant amount of weight. Never mind that my typical size hadn't fit in months.
Nothing fit.
My sweet mom (bless her!) finally stepped in and convinced me to grab the smaller, more-likely-to-fit size. And just before I tried it on, all kinds of big feelings bubbled to the surface. I was having a moment right there in the J.Crew fitting room.
I slid into the ankle length, dark green velvet pants, 3 sizes smaller than my “typical size” and … they fit. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I was stunned.
I made significant changes and took intentional steps toward health and wellness while I was recovering from the burnout that nearly did me in. And, it was working! The evidence was right there in the mirror. But I still couldn't quite believe it. It was a strange mix of emotion.
When I got home and tucked my new right-sized outfit into the closet, I started pulling out the ill-fitting clothes into a pile fully intending to donate them.
I walked by the pile day after day, yet I could not bring myself to follow through. I kept adding to the pile all the while my closet felt more empty.
One evening as I was talking to my husband, he asked me when I planned to drop off the now heaping pile of clothes. I looked at him and plainly said, “I’m afraid to get rid of them. My closet feels empty, and what if I need them?” He blinked and chuckled.
Now, listen. Let me be clear. Although my choices were more limited, I still had clothes to wear. It’s true that I hadn’t rushed out to replace any of these clothes. But the clothes in this pile were way. too. big. I couldn’t wear them. Besides that, I stopped wearing some of them years ago, even when they did fit. Then it hit me.
My closet wasn’t really the problem. My mindset was all wrong.
Scarcity Mindset: What It Actually Is
Every time I walked into my closet or tossed another thing on that pile, I thought I was making a decision about clothes. I wasn't. I was fighting a belief that I wouldn’t have enough of what I needed.
That’s scarcity mindset. Behavioral Economist, Sendhil Mullainathan, and psychologist, Eldar Shafir coined the term. It's the deeply ingrained sense that there will never be enough. Of anything. Money. Time. Energy. Clothes that fit. What they found, though, is that it's not really about the shortage itself; it's what the idea of a shortage does to your brain.
The amygdala (the brain's fear center) doesn't distinguish between real danger (a bear chasing you) and a closet with fewer clothes in it. So for me the empty space registered as risk and activated my stress response: what if I need to replace these clothes and can't afford to? What if the weight comes back and I need them again? The threat wasn't logical. It was attached to an old fear, and the brain protects old fears hardest of all.
And walking past that pile of clutter every day wasn't harmless either! Clutter quietly spikes cortisol the longer it sits. So, that pile sitting there “just in case” was costing me unnecessary stress. Here’s the thing: this mindset started as a protective mechanism. But, I didn’t need it in this situation, so it was hurting more than it was helping.
It’s worth naming that with grace, not shame. But understand this: a behavior built with survival in mind doesn't know when to stand down on its own. Someone or something has to tell it the season has changed. For me, it took my husband asking a simple, honest question I didn't have a good answer for.
What Scripture Says About Sufficient Provision
Because God is so patient and kind, He used that pile of clothes to remind me of something. I have everything that I need through Him. God has been providing for His people from the beginning of time. Consider Exodus 16. God fed the Israelites while they wandered through the wilderness after rescuing them from slavery. And, He provided exactly enough manna for one day at a time. When some of them tried to hoard it — gathering extra “just in case” — it rotted overnight.
Keeping those old clothes was my version of hoarding yesterday's manna. It wasn't really about the clothes. It was fear that God wouldn't provide what I needed for the season I was actually in, so I kept one foot in the season I'd already left, just to be safe. I didn’t trust Him.
Does this sound familiar? Maybe you’ve been there too.
Turns out Jesus asked and answered a question in Matthew 6 that helps. He says, “Why do you worry about clothes?” He points to the wildflowers, clothed by God without a single anxious thought, and asks why we'd trust Him to do any less for us. Scarcity keeps its eyes on an uncertain future. Trust keeps its eyes on daily, present provision.
The truth is our things don’t keep us “safe and secure.” It’s God who does that, and we can trust that He is well aware of our current situation. He will provide for us at just the right time and in the way He says is best. That, friend, is a promise.
So, maybe you have a few things you need to let go of. Start here.
Four Faith-Based, Brain-Informed Ways to Release What You're Holding
Name what you're actually protecting yourself from. Scarcity rarely announces itself honestly. Mine came out as “what if I need them?” And while that seems harmless enough, underneath that were two separate fears. Naming both, specifically, meant being able to address them intentionally and prayerfully.
Let evidence lead instead of fear. Your mind will default to the old pattern unless you deliberately interrupt it. In my case, I had tangible evidence right in front of me — the mirror, the velvet pants that actually fit. So I asked myself: what's actually true right now based on tangible evidence? Then I let that truth outweigh what used to be true.
If you're not ready to release something, give yourself some space from it instead of keeping it in plain sight. Think of it as a trial separation, not a breakup. Put it in a clearly labeled box and store it. Come back to it at a predetermined date 8-12 weeks in the future. Then, make a decision. Did I miss it? Did I actually still need it? If not, then it can go.
Ask: "What's this actually costing me to keep?" Storage isn't free — it costs physical space, mental clarity, emotional energy, and often contributes to clutter and stress. Before you keep something "just in case," count that cost and decide if you're willing to keep paying it. After that, consider the Rule of 10. If you could easily replace it within 10 days, or for $10 or less, the math usually favors release.
Little By Little, One Week at a Time
I did get rid of that pile.
And, guess what? I never once thought, “Man, I wish I still had that.” or “Wow, I really need that.” I’m still slowly and steadily cleaning out the things that don’t fit. It's an every day, one intentional choice at a time, story. Choosing to live in the new reality instead of retreating back to an old one. And, choosing to believe God will do what He says.
And honestly, isn’t that an accurate picture of grace. Grace that extends well beyond a single moment of freedom. Grace that is part of the ongoing process. Grace that helps us keep choosing what’s better.
I have our family photo hanging on the fridge (naturally!). And there I am, in my beautiful, right-sized, green velvet pants. When I see it, I smile. It’s all at once a picture of God’s faithfulness and my ability to do hard things with His help. Including let go of what’s no longer needed. And friend, when we let go of what’s no longer needed, we make space for God to provide what we do need. And, He always does.
Scarcity mindset keeps us stuck in old patterns, old behaviors, and buried under the weight of old fears and limiting beliefs. God invites us to something better. Open your hands, and lean in. It’s totally worth it.
One More Thing
Episode 07 of The Purpose Project Podcast, “It's Rarely About the Stuff: A Conversation with Melinda Grace,” goes deeper into the connection between our physical spaces and the emotional and spiritual weight often tied up in them. Listen here or wherever you like to listen to podcasts.
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