Trusting God When Life Doesn’t Make Sense: Faith in the Middle of Grief

Sometimes life suddenly looks nothing like you thought it would.

The plans you made, the prayers you prayed, the hopes you carried — all of it can feel shaken or shattered in a single moment. When that happens, we find ourselves standing in what I often call the messy middle: the space between where we thought we’d be (or desperately want to be) and where we actually are.

If you’ve ever been there, you know how disorienting it can feel. And, I’m not being dramatic.

You might still believe in God. You might still pray. But deep down you’re wrestling with questions you never expected to ask.

Why is this happening? Where is God in this?
Why doesn’t any of this make sense? How can I possibly recover from this?

These are honest questions. And they’re more common than we sometimes admit.

I know this too well.

I’ve stood in that gap between expectation and reality more than once in moments that challenged everything I thought I knew about faith, about God, and about myself.

I lost two children. My son Tyler, and then my daughter Hailey, fifteen months later. And in the aftermath of those losses, I found myself doing something I never expected: pulling away from the God I’d always believed in. Not because I stopped believing He was real. But because I wasn’t sure I trusted Him anymore.

I was so confused at the idea that a good, loving God would allow this kind of thing to happen at all, much less more than once. All the questions led me straight down a path of wondering if my faith was “working” well. Because, I thought if my faith was strong enough, I wouldn’t feel so undone.

I was wrong about that. Terribly wrong.

In this month’s podcast episode, I share more of that story — the grief, the anger, the questions I didn’t know how to ask out loud, and what eventually changed. But for now, I want to take you to a passage of Scripture became an anchor for me, and I’m prayerful it will do the same for you.

The Story That Changes How We See Grief

In John 11, we find what I believe to be one of the most beautiful stories in Scripture.

Lazarus, a friend of Jesus, was sick. His sisters, Mary and Martha, sent a message telling Jesus their brother, the one He loves, is sick. Scripture doesn’t explicitly say it, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say they believed He’d come quickly and intervene. They’d seen Him do it before for many, many others, even strangers.

Instead of coming right away, Jesus waits. When I hit this part of the story, I always find myself thinking, “What in the world?” Yet, Jesus knew exactly what He was doing. Waiting was part of the plan.

And by the time He arrives, Lazarus has already been buried for four days.

If you’ve ever waited on God in the middle of heartbreak, you can probably feel the tension in the moment. Mary and Martha are grieving. Their expectations and their reality don’t match. The one who could have helped, didn’t. At least not yet.

And then …

Jesus wept.

The Son of God. Creator of Universe. King of all Kings. That Jesus. Cried.

And here’s the thing: Jesus knew resurrection was coming. He knew a miracle was only moments away. Yet He still stood there in the middle of grief and allowed Himself to feel it.

That tells us something incredibly important.

Faith does not eliminate sorrow. Jesus says so Himself. “In this life, you will have trouble…”

When Grief and Faith Exist in the Same Story

Many of us quietly believe that if our faith were strong enough, we wouldn’t feel so shaken up when things go badly.

We assume that grief or disappointment means something is wrong with our faith.

But the story of Lazarus tells a different story. Jesus didn’t rush past the pain.

He didn’t dismiss it. He stepped into the middle of it with the grieving friends and family and he grieved along with them.

That means grief is not the opposite of faith. Grief and belief can exist in the very same story.

Because, here’s the thing:

Faith doesn’t erase heartbreak, but it changes how we carry it.

When Life Doesn’t Look Like What You Expected

Most of us eventually encounter moments where the gap between expectation and reality feels impossible to close.

Sometimes it’s loss. Sometimes it’s disappointment. Sometimes it’s a season that stretches on far longer than we imagined.

These things are an inevitable part of life.

In those moments, our emotions can become overwhelming. We may feel confused, angry, or unsure of what we even believe anymore. And although are emotions aren’t meant to be dismissed, they were never meant to be the foundation of our faith. Our faith rests in who God is, not in how we feel in a given moment.

And when life doesn’t make sense, that truth—the Truth—becomes an anchor.

The Question Jesus Asks

Before raising Lazarus, Jesus says something remarkable to Martha:

“I am the resurrection and the life.”

And then He asks a simple but profound question:

“Do you believe this?”

Notice what Jesus does not do. He does not explain the timing. He does not answer every question. Instead, He reveals something about who He is. Then He essentially asks her if she trusts Him.

That question still sits with us today, especially in seasons when life feels confusing or painful.

Do you believe this?

Faith in the Messy Middle

One of the most comforting truths of the Christian life is that strong faith is not the same as perfect faith.

It does, however, need to be honest. In other words, sometimes faith sounds like a very honest prayer, a confession:

“Lord, I believe… help my unbelief.”

And that kind of faith counts. If you’re walking through a season that doesn’t make sense, please hear this clearly:

Your heartbreak does not disqualify you from faith. Your questions do not mean you’ve been abandoned. Your struggle does not mean your faith is failing.

God meets us right in the middle of these moments.

If You’re Standing in That Gap Today

If you find yourself in the messy middle right now — in the space between what you hoped for and what life actually looks like — you’re not alone.

Take a breath.

Bring your honest heart to God. You don’t have to pretend to be stronger than you feel.

Faith doesn’t eliminate sorrow, but it reminds us that the story is not finished yet. And the same Jesus who stood outside the tomb of Lazarus and wept is the Jesus who stands with us in our disappointment and pain today.

Ready to Hear the Full Story?

If this reflection resonated with you, I’d love for you to listen to Episode 2 of The Purpose Project Podcast.

In the episode, I walk through the full story: losing Tyler, then Hailey, the anger and confusion that followed, what I got completely wrong about faith and grief, and what it actually looked like to find my way back. It’s honest. It’s personal. And I think if you’re carrying something heavy right now, it might be exactly what you need to hear.

Episode 2: Trusting God When Life Doesn’t Make Sense

Final Encouragement

Where you are right now is not where you will be forever. God is still writing your story — even in the messy middle.

Let that sink in.