3 Signs You’re Overthinking (and It’s Keeping You Stuck)
Go with me for a minute.
You’ve been staring at your text message for 20 minutes trying to craft the perfect response to a simple question. You’ve written three different versions, deleted them all, and now you’re wondering if you should just wait until tomorrow when you have more bandwidth.
Or maybe it’s decision-making that gets the best of you. You’ve researched all the options, asked for opinions from six different people, and you’re still not sure. Because what if you choose wrong? What if you miss something important? What if this one decision ruins everything?
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And, it’s not because you lack intelligence, wisdom, or faith. It’s because you’re overthinking, and it’s eroded your confidence in your ability.
But here’s the truth: The problem isn’t your ability. The problem isn’t your calling. The problem is that overthinking has hijacked your brain and convinced you that more analysis equals more clarity.
Guess what, friend? It absolutely does not.
Here are three signs that overthinking is keeping you stuck—and what to do about it.
Sign #1: You Obsessively Replay Conversations in Your Head. For Days.
The Pattern
You said something in a meeting, a text conversation, or a casual interaction, and now? You can’t let it go. You replay it over and over, analyzing every word, wondering how it was received, imagining worst-case scenarios about what the other person thought.
What’s Really Happening
Your brain is trying to protect you from rejection or mistakes. It thinks that if it can just analyze the conversation enough times, it can prevent future pain or embarrassment. But instead of bringing clarity, it keeps you trapped in a mental loop that does more harm than good.
When you ruminate on past conversations, your brain’s error-detection system treats even minor social missteps as major threats. (More on how this works in a minute.)
Why This Keeps You Stuck
You’re spending mental energy on the past instead of being present. Constant rumination increases your cognitive load, leaving you mentally exhausted and unable to focus on what’s happening in the moment.
You’re creating anxiety about situations that may not even be problematic. Your brain is generating “what if” scenarios based on fear, not reality.
You’re training your brain to doubt your instincts and communication skills. The more you replay and second-guess, the more you reinforce the neural pathway that says “I can’t trust how I show up,” or “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Constantly replaying past conversations makes showing up fully in the present extremely difficult. You hesitate, constantly self-edit, and insist on being overly cautious because you’re convinced on some level you’re totally blowing it. This creates a barrier to connection, and that’s not what you want. Connection is important in our lives, and anything that disrupts that needs to be addressed.
Sign #2: You Procrastinate on Decisions Because You Need One More Person to Validate Your Choice.
The Pattern
You’ve gathered information. You’ve prayed about it. You’ve talked with a trusted friend or two and have a sense of what you should do. But instead of deciding, you ask one more friend, one more mentor, one more expert. Because what if you get it wrong? What if you’re missing something? What if everyone sees you fail miserably?
What’s Really Happening
You’ve outsourced your decision-making to other people because overthinking has eroded your confidence in your own judgement. You’re waiting for someone else to give you permission to trust yourself.
It’s often a symptom of decision fatigue. When your brain analyzes every. possible. outcome. it quickly burns through your mental processing power. Analysis paralysis is real. And, instead of making you feel certain and confident, endlessly seeking input increases confusion and delays action. We’re humans with limited capacity—just like a sponge, we can only absorb (and process) so much.
Why This Keeps You Stuck
You delay action while waiting for external validation, which you can never get enough of. The truth is no two people will give the exact same advice anyway. And, the longer you delay, the higher the likelihood that confirmation bias comes into play. At that point, you only hear what you want to hear, which is advice that confirms what you already believe and dismisses everything else.
You water down discernment by drowning it in too many opinions. God gave you wisdom and Holy Spirit to guide you, but you can’t hear His voice when you’re overwhelmed by everyone else’s.
You reinforce the belief that you need permission to act on your own wisdom every time you seek external validation.
Opportunities pass you by. Clarity feels impossible. And you start to believe the lie that you’re not capable of making wise choices, even though you’ve made hundreds of good decisions before.
Sign #3: You Pick Apart Every Decision You DO Make Because You’re Sure You Missed Something.
The Pattern
You finally made the decision. You took the action. But now, instead of moving forward, you’re reanalyzing everything. Did you choose the right option? Did you overlook a red flag? Should you have waited longer? What if you just made a terrible mistake?
What’s Really Happening
Your brain isn’t satisfied with “good enough.” It’s searching for perfect—and perfect doesn’t exist. So instead of trusting that you made a wise, informed choice, you’re looking for evidence that you blew it.
Here’s what’s happening at a neurological level: Normally, when you complete a task, your brain releases dopamine. That’s the “feel good” chemical that signals accomplishment and reinforces productive behavior. But when overthinking and perfectionism come online, the reward response is sabotaged by your error-detection system, and your brain immediately shifts gears—finding flaws instead of acknowledging completion.
This means any “less-than-perfect” outcome gets treated as a threat. Your brain doesn’t feel settled because it’s too busy searching for what went wrong. It’s a vicious cycle. You never feel the satisfaction of completion, so you keep searching for problems that probably don’t exist.
Why This Keeps You Stuck
You rob yourself of peace and confidence. Even when you make a good choice, you don’t notice it.
You create anxiety that makes your next decision even harder. Each time you second-guess yourself, you’re reinforcing doubt. With every decision, doubt compounds until you eventually feel paralyzed.
You reinforce the belief that your judgement is unreliable. This often leads to self-sabotage.
Even when you do move forward, you’re not fully committed. You’re half in, constantly looking back, which means you’re not able to fully invest in the path you’ve chosen. Your nervous system is often dysregulated and you experience increased anxiety or fear. And, yeah, even more overthinking.
The Real Problem: You Don't Trust Yourself
Here’s what all three of these signs have in common: They reveal that overthinking has undermined your confidence in your God-given wisdom. Your default is doubt. And when doubt sets in, you hesitate. You stay stuck. You play small.
But the solution isn’t to think harder to analyze more. The solution is to rebuild healthy self-trust that’s firmly rooted in who God says you are.
Bible + Brain: Why Overthinking Happens
The Brain Science
Your brain has two key systems that are supposed to work together:
The prefrontal cortex handles rational thinking, planning, and decision-making. This is your “wise-leader” brain—the part that evaluates options, considers consequences, and makes sound choices.
The amygdala serves as our emotional center and threat detection system. Think of it as our built in alarm system. It’s designed to keep you safe by identifying danger and triggering your fight-or-flight response.
When you overthink, the amygdala goes into overdrive. It perceives uncertainty as a threat and floods your brain with “what if” scenarios to try to keep you safe.
The problem? Your amygdala can’t tell the difference between a real threat (a bear chasing you) and a perceived threat (a difficult conversation). The chemical response in your brain is the same. The amygdala treats both scenarios like a life-or-death situation.
The result: Anxiety overrides logic. And, you’re no longer thinking clearly; you’re just spiraling.
This is why you replay conversations for days (Sign #1), seek endless validation (Sign #2), and pick apart decisions you’ve already made (Sign #3). Your threat-detection system is running the show, convincing you that more analysis equals more safety. But, it doesn’t.
Brain research shows us that chronic overthinking also floods your system with cortisol (the stress hormone), which actually reduces activity in the prefrontal cortex. This means the more you overthink, the more difficult it becomes to access the rational part of the brain. It’s like trying to run complex software on a computer that’s overheating. Everything slows down and stops working properly.
What God Says
Your brain is trying to protect you (always). God designed it that way. But God also intends for you to trust Him. That said, it’s important to recognize that overthinking can sometimes be just as much of a spiritual issue as it is psychological. God takes our thought life seriously—so seriously that He addresses our minds and thinking patterns over 60 times throughout the New Testament.
When you’re spiraling in “what-ifs’ and worst-case scenarios, second-guessing every choice, God invites you to redirect your mind. Here’s what Scripture says:
Proverbs 3:5-6 — Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path.
Philippians 4:8 — Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Colossians 3:2 — Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Isaiah 26:3 — You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are fixed on you because they trust in you.
What Healthy Self-Trust Looks Like
I can almost feel you bristle when I say, “Trust yourself.” I get it. I used to bristle, too. But, hear me out.
I’m not encouraging self-trust as something that creates tension in your relationship with God. Self-trust actually comes from a healthy, thriving relationship with Him, one that’s characterized by surrender and obedience.
It isn’t arrogance or believing that you’re always right. It doesn’t mean that you don’t need wise counsel from others.
Healthy self-trust means:
You can make a decision without needing unanimous agreement from a dozen others or external validation.
You can have a conversation without replaying it for days.
You can rely on your discernment without second-guessing every choice.
You can move forward even when you don't have perfect information or the outcome is unclear.
You can adjust (without shame) when needed because setbacks don’t equal failure.
And healthy self-trust is rooted in these truths: God made you. He called you. He gave you a mind, wisdom, and the Holy Spirit to guide you. Confidence in yourself is really confidence in God’s work in you and through you. (Take a quick look at Philippians 2:13)
Reflection Questions
So what’s a girl to do with all this information? Take some time to reflect:
Which of the 3 signs resonates most with you? Where do you see overthinking showing up in your life right now?
What’s one decision you’re avoiding because you don’t trust yourself to make it?
What would it look like to trust that God has equipped you to make wise choices?
When have you made a good decision in the past? What did that feel like?
What truth about your identity in Christ do you need to hold onto when overthinking sets in?
How to Stop Overthinking and Start Trusting Yourself
So, what now? Don’t worry, friend. I’ve got you! Here are a few practical ways to start rebuilding healthy self-trust:
Set a decision deadline and aim for 70/30.
Give yourself a time limit or deadline for making decisions. Once you decide, move forward and resist the urge to revisit.
Ask yourself: Do I have 70% of the necessary information to make a solid decision? If yes, then move forward. Research shows that obsessing over the details (that last 30%) rarely changes the outcome. But it certainly fuels anxiety.
Remember that imperfect action beats NO action every. time. The goal is making the best decision you can with the information you have at the time.
Limit your input.
Choose 1-2 trusted people to ask for input, not 10. Hear them, but make the decision on your own. Too many opinions (too much input) creates confusion and noise, not clarity.
Practice the 24-hour rule.
When you catch yourself replaying a conversation, give yourself 24 hours to think about it. After 24 hours, ask: Is there a real problem here, or am I overthinking? If there’s a real issue, address it. If not, let it go.
Use 3-Whys to get to the root.
When you catch yourself spirialing, pause and ask: Why does this feel so [fill-in-the-blank] (ie. scary, overwhelming, threatening)? Then ask yourself Why? twice more to dig a bit deeper.
Here’s an example: I’m anxious about this decision. Why? Because I might make the wrong choice. Why does that matter? Because people will judge me. Why is that so upsetting? Because I believe my worth depends on being right.
Once you honestly name the root, you can address the real issue instead of getting tangled up in overthinking.
Challenge the what if spiral.
When you notice yourself spiraling into worst-case scenarios, pause and look for evidence. Ask: Am I making an assumption or is there real evidence that confirms what I’m thinking?
Replace “what if” thinking with “even if” thinking. Even if I made a mistake, God will direct my steps. Even if I’m wrong this time, I’m still capable. You can use these exercises anytime the anxiety feels overwhelming to help regulate your nervous system before you make any judgements.
Ground yourself in truth.
Create a note in your phone named “Things that worked out well” and keep a list. Revisit it often as a reminder that you are capable of making wise choices and good things are happening in your life.
Pray for wisdom, then trust it.
In James 1:5, God promises to give wisdom (generously) to anyone who asks for it. So, ask Him. Once you’ve prayed that prayer, trust that He will do what He says and that He’s guiding you. Move forward definitively in faith.
Trust God. Trust Yourself.
Overthinking will tell you that you can’t trust yourself. That you need to analyze more, research more, or get more confirmation. But that’s a lie. The truth is God gives you a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). He equips you. And, when you trust Him, you don’t need to have everything figured out to take the next step.
Healthy self-trust doesn’t mean you’ll never make a mistake. It means you trust that God is fully present and capable of filling in the gaps even when you do. Because, you will. We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. But, you can make decisions, move forward, and adjust when it's necessary, without shame and without spiraling.
So what’s one decision you need to make today? What’s one conversation you need to stop replaying? What’s one choice you’ve been second-guessing that you need to release?
Start there. Trust God. Trust yourself.
Take the next brave step.
Ready to Stop Overthinking?
If you struggle with overthinking and want practical tools and support to help you think clearly and lead confidently, join the email community! I send monthly encouragement for Christian women leaders who want to stop overthinking and start living with courage and intention. Sign up here.
